Lump in my throat

What do u do when u have a lump in your throat. It hurts it just is.. i wanna cry my heart out so that the lump will go away.. but the tears just wont come. its just there. it makes it so hard for me to breathe.. there is so much i wanna say but words are not enough. nothing is ever enough. am i asking for too much.. or i was expecting too little.. i know that its kinda confusing.. but that's just what i'm feeling rite now.. confused..
do i love too much.. or am i being loved too little.. i know whatever between us is not real. it feels real. taste real... it's the reason i have a lump in my throat.. times like this i just want to strangle u and wanna hug u at the same time. there's so many things unsaid.. better left unsaid or cant be said.. it left a lump in my throat !!! i wanna scream but i can't ..

ahakss.. how was the intro.. it's a story the i wanna start but i don't actually know how to write.. i wanted to write for so long. mona said i should start somewhere. guess i'm just too scared to try.. stupid huh... why do i wanna write.. cause i want ppl to read or because i just love to write. ahakss.. always ask myself questions that can't be answered. i'm a girl with drama in my life.. i don't exaggerate.. i just am.. a drama queen.. learnt it from my mum. it's the reason why i live as long as i have to. i create drama in my life.. everyday is a new chapter and a new episode.. it could be an ordinary day go to work and back but i'll always have drama ehehe...

it's only 11 pm but i'm writing like a drunk. told u my life is a drama ahakss.. just had a not so gud conversation with my bunny. thats rite bunny.. my bunny.. why can' t ur buddy be your bunny ehehe.. another druken joke.. anyway i just wanna close my eyes n hope tmrw will be better than today.. nite2 all and thanks for reading this crap post ahaksss!!!!

Only yesterday when I was sad
And I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave
The past and all its tears behind me
Tomorrow may be even brighter than today
Since I threw my sadness away
Only Yesterday
... The Carpenters ...